our fighter

Well 48 hours after my last beta we got over double at 238! I was still nervous but my doctor is very happy. We will now just wait, impatiently, for our first ultrasound which will be around December 9. Looks like my golden birthday will be happy tomorrow after all!

17dp5dt

Well it looks like we have a fighter…my beta this morning is now up to 114. Our doctor feels “pretty good” with how things are progressing. Here is a re-cap:

11dp5dt: beta was 15.8
14dp5dt: beta was 29.2
17dp5dt: beta was 114

I will go in once more on Wednesday to make sure things are continuing to progress before we schedule our 7 week ultrasound. Please keep sending good vibes/prayers/positive thoughts our way for this to be a healthy baby!

29.2

The results are in, and we are just barely less than double our beta since Tuesday. This number is still very low so we are nervous, but at least it is going in the right direction. I will go back in on Monday for the third beta. Still feeling crampy a lot, with occasions where it is more intense…hoping it’s implantation. We were definitely surprised to get an increase….we thought for sure it would be lower because when I took an HPT yesterday the line looked lighter. Fingers crossed that we have a fighter!

this cannot be good

Thanks for all of the kind words yesterday. This is definitely worse than just having another failed cycle, it feels like torture. I’ve had cramping all day, and right now it is very uncomfortable. I feel pretty certain this is going to end badly and soon. This much cramping can’t be normal.

Tomorrow I am going to try my best to act like myself at Thanksgiving, but I think it will be fairly difficult to disguise my sadness. Such a roller coaster we have been on, and it doesn’t seem to end. I guess it will be good to get a more definitive answer on Friday, assuming the lab can get our results done around the holiday. I’m really hoping to not have to wait until Monday to know more.

Happy Thanksgiving

11dp5dt

Not the best day. My beta came back at 15.8 which is definitely lower than I would have liked. My doctor is having me continue all meds (unfortunately including the Prednisone) and come back on Friday for a repeat. Please pray for a miracle for us, because I’m feeling like this just isn’t going to work this time…

didn’t think this would happen…

But PIO has now been replaced by Prednisone for the title of Most Horrible IVF Drug for me. Between icing injection sights and using Weleda arnica ointment, my bum is doing much better this time around.

For this cycle Dr. RE decided we should try extending the Prednisone until I get my beta. I figured nbd, it didn’t bother me when I took it for five days during transfer #2. She did warn me about increased moodiness and insomnia though.

Well apparently this weekend I reached my threshold as far as how long I can take this drug with no serious side effects. I have been experiencing the following:
– major insomnia (followed by lots of daytime fatigue)
– irritability over EVERYTHING
– starving…at all times

Ugh

Anyways so I emailed Dr RE to see if I can stop taking it now that I got a positive. She said I can if I want to. I obviously have been googling the crap out of whether prednisone helps after implantation as far as reducing miscarriage rates and have not found much. I’ll suck it up and keep taking it if it will decrease the chance of losing my baby, but would love to stop taking it.

Anyone out there have experience with this? I am not taking it for a confirmed autoimmune issue, more just to cover my bases since we were out of things we could change each cycle.

UPDATE: Dr. RE clarified that for people who have recurrent unexplained miscarriages there has been one study showing a decreased rate in first trimester miscarriage with Prednisone taken during that time.

it just got real

BFP, 9dp5dt

That’s right. I’m literally stunned. Please, please, please, God let this baby stick in there and grow to be a healthy, beautiful, bundle of joy to be delivered in 8 months. We are on cloud nine. I had a dream last night that it was positive and hubby dreamt about a baby as well.

I’ll update after our beta on Tuesday.

Thanks for all the love and support so far, you guys have been so great!

7dp5dt

Not much to report. Work has been 12 hour day insane, which is a welcome distraction. Not had much time to obsess at all, and at this point I’m scared to find out the results. I’ve had dreams about babies every night, so I guess that is the only time my brain has right now to think about this. Beta is on Tuesday, I will take an hpt before then but not sure when. Apparently I’m expecting a negative because I keep trying to figure out which day would work best to handle bad news… Ugh.

2dp5dt…pupo again

Not much to report here, I have surprisingly been very distracted from this for the past week between a bunch of work stuff and trying to arrange a showing for the condo I owned before we got married and have not even gotten a single offer yet! A couple is pretty interested in it so we have been crazed trying to get everything set up for a showing. (we are currently renting it through a property management company so scheduling a showing involves working through not only our schedules and the potential buyers, but the management company and the tenant’s as well..nightmare).

Anyways, we are really hoping this is our lucky break, so fingers crossed. What an amazing month it would be to sell that anchor…err, I mean condo, and find out I am pregnant! Is that too much to ask?? Probably.

Anyways, I’m thinking the craziness of work and this condo situation will last well into the coming work week so I am very happy for the distractions. I’m hoping to make it until the weekend to pee on anything. Beta will be a week from this Tuesday.

The acupuncture was awesome before and after the transfer. I’ve done acupuncture a ton before, but this is the first time I used someone who does these types of sessions regularly. She told me that she likes to twist the needles once they are in and then another time ten minutes into the session. She just told me to let her know when I feel something other than the twisting. I was thinking oh crap I bet I won’t feel anything other than pain from the needle and that would just suck. Well for the first needle she did this to (the one in my third eye) after a few twists I got this pulling sensation in my belly, like the feeling you get when you do a drop on a roller coaster. It was crazy! Some of the needles gave me that dropping sensation, and others just made me feel tingly and warm. I was very surprised about this! So she repeated this after the transfer and it went well then too.

Now for the one piece of craziness I will offer you, my dear readers…at least I hope this is crazy. So unfortunately I realized last Sunday that I got a UTI (common for me). Unfortunately due to my many drug allergies and pending FET there are not very many antibiotic options that are safe for me. Dr. RE has my take a z-pack in the days leading up to the transfer so we just hoped that would resolve it. Two days in I felt better. Then the day before transfer it was back in full force. Ugh. Imagine trying to figure out whether your bladder is full or not for the transfer when you constantly feel like you have to pee! And then getting the actual procedure with all this going on?!? Not cool. Normally Dr. RE gives me a catheter after the transfer to empty my bladder while I lay in bed for the required time (and in this case get the acupuncture). Well obviously a catheter was not happening this time, so they said I should just go to the bathroom “very gently” immediately after the transfer. She said if I use my abdominal muscles I could in theory accidentally pass the embryo. Argh!!! I wanted so bad to just ignore the urgency and wait until the acupuncture was done, but they advised me that it would be best to just go to the bathroom because otherwise I won’t be able to focus on relaxing. So I went, very carefully, but of course can’t help but be nervous that the embryo went too. Ugh.

calm down

Ok, I don’t know what is going on but I have so much nervous energy I feel like I am all pumped up with adrenaline. I am acting like every task I have needs to be done instantly and am moving so fast my brain can’t catch up,when there is no need for urgency with anything! I don’t recall feeling like this leading up to my previous embryo transfers so I’m not sure where this is coming from. My head is telling me to remain detached this cycle to prevent a total shutdown if it doesn’t work, again. But now I can’t help but wonder if on a subconscious level I truly think this is the one and I’m getting the nerves that I will no doubt be experiencing once I finally get pregnant again. I know my next pregnancy is going to be really scary because we just have no idea how my body will respond this time. Is there something in my subconscious preparing myself for that?? I hope so, but this jittery-ness is driving me insane!