invincible

There is something weird going on in my head right now. It is blind optimism. I don’t know if it’s because I feel like what happened last month officially put me at rock bottom, or what but I have this very intense certainty that our bad luck ended with that surgery-gone-wrong. I had to schedule a follow up SHG three weeks after the surgery to see if there was any tissue still in my uterus. In my head I was prepared that most likely there would be and I would need another hysteroscopy. I mean it only made sense…what are the chances that the surgeon punctured the hole in my uterus while she was getting the last bit of tissue out? But my gut told me something different. My gut told me everything would be clear. My gut was right.

Now don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t without a bit of drama and a fair amount of pain. The actual procedure for the SHG had to be done twice because the first catheter was faulty. So that was not fun. Then the doctor saw a small piece of tissue and he was fairly certain it was a piece of my lining, but to be sure he poked at it and squirted saline until it broke off. Let’s just say my uterus was not happy yesterday. My husband even looked like he was gonna pass out while they were doing this…which has never happened to him before.

Anyways, so I got to go in for my baseline today and if things go as planned will likely have the transfer around the 21st. We are planning to take a vacation somewhere tropical and warm the following week so hopefully the dreaded wait is a breeze. But this brings me back to the title of this post. I feel certain this transfer will work. Like so certain that I will be SHOCKED if it doesn’t. I have never experienced such optimism with a transfer before…not even with my first one. Let’s just hope my gut is right…

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frustrated

Well I was finally able to get the hysteroscopy scheduled to remove the remaining “products of conception”. The EARLIEST they could do was January 16!! I emailed De. RE to make sure, but I assume this is going to delay our FET because we were supposed to be growing my lining in mid January, which I assume should not be happening. I’m pretty sure I remember hearing they want your lining to be thin for this procedure.

So frustrated…. 😦

when will this end??

I had an SHG this morning to make sure everything is out of my uterus in preparation for our next transfer. Unfortunately there are still a few pieces of placenta or something sticking around which needs to be removed. So now I have to get a hysteroscopy to remove what remains. We are hoping to avoid a D&C, but there are definitely no guarantees that will happen. Dr. RE is concerned about the level of expertise of the doctors covered by my health insurance so I’m pretty nervous about getting this done. If we go out of network for this procedure it would cost $10,000 which is just not an option for us.

Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a little uterine clean out, huh?