the $&?&ing PIO

I have a post planned to discuss the interesting and very unexpected way the triplets’ birthdays impacted me, but in the meantime let’s talk about how much progesterone in oil injections suck, again.

After I found out that my fresh IVF cycle resulted in a BFN, I began exercise again (yoga). However more recently I added running/walking to the mix. I was very disconcerted to find that when I jog the right side of my bottom hurts. Today I went for a walk and it is now officially throbbing. The only thing I can think to attribute this to is some type of muscle damage due to the repeated stabbing of PIO.

Has anyone else heard of something like this? It’s been 6 weeks since I last had the shot so it’s crazy to think my bum is still hurt from them! Not looking forward to starting those again very soon…baseline is tomorrow…

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1 or 2

Well my blood test came in at 2.1 today so I am officially out of the “inconclusive” stage and onto the “not pregnant” one. I completely expected this so for the most part I am just feeling ready to brush this cycle off and move forward.

Now onto the tricky part…how many embryos to transfer this time. Here are the facts surrounding this decision:

* we transferred one hatching embryo during our first fresh cycle with no success
* FET statistically has a slightly lower success rate than fresh cycles
* we have one frozen embryo that was frozen at the hatching stage, and 22 that were grade A or AA expanding blastocysts
* Dr. RE gives us a 20% chance of twins if we transfer 2
* our high risk doctor strongly advises against me carrying multiples, so she would strongly encourage a reduction if I get pregnant with more than one
* Dr. RE recommends we transfer two based upon our last cycle

I really hate being faced with these decisions. After all we have been through, the thought of a reduction is just horrible. Although the thought of another negative pregnancy test and additional costs of more FETs isn’t the greatest either.

Initially I was leaning slightly towards doing one. If I had an uneventful singleton pregnancy then I would feel much better about transferring two and potentially carrying twins, but I feel like I need to go through a nice a boring, long pregnancy before I can do that. It sure is tempting to transfer two though.

How have you guys made the decision on how many to transfer?

blah

I had my beta blood test this morning (it was supposed to be on Monday but I was on vacation so it was delayed). I was not looking forward to this exercise at all and was fighting back the tears in the waiting room. As I suspected would happen, the nurse said she was so excited and nervous for me and asked if I had taken a home test yet. I told her I had and it was negative, but she said it was probably just too early. She said they would have the results within a couple hours.

Low and behold, at 14dp5dt my hcg was at 5. It feels like the universe is giving me the finger. My doctor said she thinks I am most likely not pregnant, but that it is possible with that number so I have to continue to take my meds and go back in Monday morning.

Of course I have googled the crap out of very low betas this far after a transfer and it doesn’t look good. Tonight I get to start the evening off by giving my progesterone in oil injection to myself for the first time since the husband is traveling for work. That should be interesting.

Hoping for a miracle come Monday. Hope everyone has a good weekend! I am going to do everything I can to stay OFF the crazy train!

the one where I lost my shit

The last 24 hours have not been good. I have been consistently crampy at all times, extremely irritable, and extremely emotional. I know some of you may be thinking, “oh, well this is probably because you are pregnant.”. In my opinion you would be wrong. After basically having a panic attack yesterday, my husband suggested maybe I just take a pregnancy test. His thought was that the unknown appears to be worse than how I would react to a negative (based on the past, he is probably right). So this morning I took an HPT first thing after waking up and saw stark white nothing-ness.

I am 6dp5dt. I know technically it could just be too early. Dr. RE and her nurse both separately advised I wait until Sunday to test at the earliest. But I had in my possession a First Response six days sooner pregnancy test. Surely if I were pregnant it would show up on one of these fancy pregnancy tests at 6dp5dt (essentially 11 dpo)?

Needless to say, I would be very surprised if I end up pregnant this cycle. I just wish this dang crampy-ness would gtfo so I can just feel normal again. The emotional roller coaster is enough for me right now…physical discomfort (especially the kind that gives false hope) isn’t welcome right now.

frozen embryo update

Well we got the final count for our embryos on Saturday morning. Out of 28 total fertilized eggs, we were able to freeze 23 grade A+ and A blastocycsts (all either expanded or hatching)! That’s just insanity! My doctor said she has never seen such great results. It’s very reassuring to know we have so many high quality embryos frozen…we do want a big family!

Otherwise, I am 3dp5dt. I continued to have cramping through the weekend but it is better now. There was also a little bit of nausea on and off also. Today I feel normal for the most part, even my ovaries have not been bothering me much anymore. Over the weekend I ordered 25 of the cheap Wondfo pregnancy tests from Amazon. I have never taken the pregnancy testing to this level, but there are a few reasons why this cycle is different:

1. First IVF cycle, so much higher success rates
2. The last few cycles before we did IVF I started bleeding way too early due to some type of luteal phase defect. I didn’t even get the chance to take one pregnancy test those cycles.
3. My beta isn’t until Friday 8/3. It was supposed to be Monday 7/30, but I will be on a family vacation from this Sunday through the following Friday. Our clinic only does betas during the week and Dr. RE said this Friday is too soon. So IF I get really lucky and get a positive pregnancy test, I will likely continue to test to make sure that line is nice and dark until my beta.

Seeing negative pregnancy tests (even when I know it might just be too early) seriously bums me out, so I am not sure when I will be taking my first one yet. I have seen people get positives on 5dp5dt, which would put me at Wednesday. Thoughts/advice?

another question

So yesterday afternoon/evening I had some nagging cramping in what I can only assume was my uterus. I thought the Valium was supposed to prevent this (along with drinking lots of water). It is less bothersome today so far, but is still there. Is this normal for after the transfer? The panic-y part of my brain (that also does not trust my uterus) is worried that it is contractions and I am going to contract that embryo out before it event gets the chance to settle in.

Ugh. It’s going to be a long week. Please let me know your thoughts if you have done an embryo transfer. I have a message into my doctor but have not heard back.

it’s like we are the winners of the losers bracket

That’s our baby! One perfect hatching blast. As of this morning we have 14 hatching or expanding blasts to freeze. There may be more later today and tomorrow.

Dr. RE said this was the best looking cycle of her entire career! My husbands response was that “it’s like being the winner of the loser bracket”. Lol. Let’s hope this baby sticks around for a wonderful 9 mos!

still going strong

Well the fertility clinic decided to keep me on my toes today…they called 3 hours later than yesterday…I have been so nervous. We now have 25 embryos, but all are grade 1 still so that is spectacular news. I’m hoping to have plenty in the freezer tomorrow! We are planning to transfer one embryo.

This morning I had a nice acupuncture session…the transfer tomorrow morning is too early to be able to get acupuncture immediately before so hopefully today was good enough. I also have a post transfer session late tomorrow morning.

Fingers crossed our babes are all nice looking blastocysts tomorrow morning!!

wow

I’m starting to think someone really mean is prank calling me with these daily embryo reports because they are just too good to be true. It’s a good thing I can recognize the nurse’s voice. Anyways…all 28 are still hanging in there. Well they are more than hanging in there, they are growing perfectly…all 28 are still grade 1 (at our clinic grade 1 on day three means there are between 5 and 8 cells). Grow babies grow!

progesterone in oil can kiss my bruised ass

I know I’m preaching to the choir on this one, but I SERIOUSLY hate the progesterone injections. I am pretty sure they are the worst part of this process so far. Yes the recovery from retrieving 37 eggs is not fun, and my ovaries are still achy…but at least the worst of it is over within a few days.

Here are the lovely side effects I get from the progesterone injections:
Bruising/pain at injection site, oily skin and hair to the point that I look like a creepy car mechanic, breakouts, vivid and very weird dreams, nausea, swelling, moodiness/extreme irritability (apologies to my husband).

Most of these are familiar to me because although I am new to the injection format, I definitely have experience with progesterone supplementation. Hopefully next week I will get a positive pregnancy test so that my insurance can cover the cost of the gel progesterone and we can give my poor ass a break. The rest of the side effects, I am going to have to learn to deal with for the next 11 weeks if I get pregnant….but that is a small price to pay. I’ll update later this morning with the status of our beautiful embryos!